27

August 3, 2010 § Leave a comment

I’ve turned 27 today. Wow.

Time flies so fast. I vaguely remember playing when I was a little kid, changing into my nursery school uniform, cleaning my elementary bag, tons of memories from high school, all the vices I picked up in college, getting a job and finally living an adult life.

Yesterday, I was thinking about my feelings about being 27 and the life I currently have. Didn’t get me anywhere. I’m not exactly lost. But I don’t know how I feel. I should be bothered. But I’m not. Or maybe I refuse to be bothered.

I know I’m 27. However, I don’t feel like I am. I feel so much younger. I don’t know if that’s good or bad.

There’s so many things I don’t know how I feel about. But still, I only feel slightly bothered. Sometimes I care, then I dismiss them as quickly. Is this indifference?

Ha. I’m such a mess. And I don’t know why.

I think I’m out of touch with myself. I don’t know what I want. I don’t know what I feel. Come to think of it, I haven’t cried in like.. forever… Honestly, I don’t remember the last time I did. Sure, I laugh hard about the most random things, but it seems nothing makes me cry.

Even this post is incoherent.

Maybe I should go on one of those soul-searching trips I see on dramas and animes. Just to think and feel.

When I woke up today, I thought it was just a regular day. Until my mom greeted me a happy birthday. I even spent the day just lazing around at home. Didn’t even take a full bath. Watched tv and played free online slot machines.

I entertained the idea that I might be somewhat lonely. I don’t know. Maybe I am? But I’m pretty sure I’m okay.

See? I don’t even know the answer to that.

But I did have a relatively happy birthday. I got SJ’s 1st Super Show DVD, which is great. And tons sent me birthday wishes, which is even greater.

Hmmm… I guess that’s it. My goal for my 28th year here on earth is to reinforce my previous goals and to find myself. Easy. Heh.

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